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Unexpected (or, in other words, Hypocrisy)

December 15, 2011

The peer pressure got to me. I joined a dating website, at the behest of a friend.

“It could be funny to see what kind of weirdos are out there,” she said. “It’ll give you something to blog about,” she said. “You don’t have to message anyone,” she said. “It’ll be fun,” she said.

She had no idea. Neither did I.

In seven days, I received messages from close to 40 guys.

I sent most of them polite “Thanks but no thanks” messages. I thanked them for telling me how pretty I was. I thanked them for saying how well written my profile was, or how funny I was, or how they thought I sounded “cooler than most of the chicks on this site.” And a few, a very select few, I responded to. And got to emailing with.

And then, all of a sudden, one of them asked me out. After three emails. Sure, he seems nice, and we’ve been sending long emails, but … a date? In person? Isn’t that dangerous?

“I’m really swamped until after the holidays,” I explained. “But definitely in January.”

He said he understood. And then he stopped emailing me. And I was slightly relieved.

But then … it happened again. Another one asked me out. Except he was nicer about it. He said he knew it was quick, and would understand if I said no. He gave me all of his personal information, and said he wanted me to google him before I responded. He promised he wasn’t a serial killer.

So Google and I spent some time looking into his background, and everything he’d said checked out to be true. We saw some photos of him and his ex girlfriend sitting beneath a cherry blossom tree. We read about him on hospital websites (he is a doctor, after all). We creeped the public view of his Facebook account. And in the end, Google and I agreed – he probably wasn’t a serial killer. Probably.

So then what?

Is someone probably not being a serial killer enough of a reason to go out with them?

So I asked my support group. And they were thrilled, and gave their blessing. “It’s time for you to date!” they exclaimed, “You’re ready! And we want to live vicariously through you!”

So I asked my therapist, and she just smiled and agreed that she thought I was ready too. Stamp of approval.

So I asked some friends, what did they think of online dating? And they said, “Oh no, you can’t just go out with someone! First you have to talk to them on the phone. Even if he probably isn’t a serial killer, he could still be a creeper.” I chose to ignore the fact that I had been the creeper in googling him, and agreed with them. “The phone will give you creeper vibes,” they assured me.

So I asked if I could call him first. And he sent me his phone number. He mentioned a football game he was watching in his email, so I dutifully checked the tv listings, found his game, and waited until it was over. And then I made a list of things to talk about, and called him.

Turns out the list was unnecessary. He was easy to talk to. We chatted for an hour, and I laughed a lot. And at the end of the hour, he asked if he could take me out. So we compared calendars, and found we both had an evening free. He suggested a restaurant, I offered a time. We agreed.

We met for dinner, and then walked around and looked at Christmas lights. And just like on the phone, he was easy to talk to. And so I asked what his weekend looked like. And we have another date on Sunday.

I don’t know if it will go anywhere, but suddenly, here I find myself – thrust back into dating, not two years after I was glad to be done with it, supposedly forever.

Dating. How did this happen?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Charis permalink
    December 15, 2011 6:45 pm

    amazing how things can change in 15 days šŸ™‚
    Congratulations my friend… glad things are on the up. x

  2. December 15, 2011 8:17 pm

    found myself squealing in excitement for you! hope to hear how it goes…

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