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Time

July 7, 2011

Hours turned into days, and days turned into weeks, and now weeks have turned into months. Time continues to slip away, sometimes unnoticed, others not.

It’s been more than 3 months now; the same amount of time that our marriage was happy; the same amount of time that he spent lying and being unfaithful. 3 months times 3 and we should be laughing over how it’s coming up on a year and how quickly time flies and where will we be thirty years from now?

Instead life creeps along and every day little bits of it feel normal and little bits of it feel like I’m living the world’s biggest lie; bits are sad and bits are happy and bits are forgotten, forget-able, typical to the point of being dull. There are still moments where I feel my heart being ripped out of my chest and where I have to excuse myself to the ladies’ room to shed a few tears, but each day, slowly the pieces come together and life knits itself up and moves on.

Moving on isn’t always easy, because it means letting go, and letting go is a choice.

If you can let go of the love you had for someone, does that negate the fact that you loved them? Does it make your love any less real, if it can fade away?

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Vivo4Vida permalink
    July 8, 2011 1:31 am

    No.

  2. Charis permalink
    July 9, 2011 8:48 pm

    hmm this is a hard one i think.

    I will try to explain my p.o.v but I will set the background and it might make it easier.

    Before i met my hubs i was in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. It was a healthy relationship and everything was great until he proposed. I had this shock that the actual expectation of me from him was that we would now get married, I would resign from work because he believed a wife should never work and my job would be the home, also in a year or so pop out heaps of kids and that would be that. Sounds ideal right? Lot of girls would kill to be in that position. I said no- for me it wasnt the fact that i didnt love him wholeheartedly it was the realisation that i wasnt happy with the plan and he wouldnt listen. I said can we have a long engagement? he replied no… Long story short. It was the most painful moment of my life. That breakup took me 12 months of recover, more tubs of icecream, more ‘changes’ in my life. Impulse decisions because i thought planned out ones sucked. A pair of jimmy choos, a maxed out credit card. A loss of 2 jobs, 2 awful dates and well you get the picture it was earth shattering.

    I have never let go the love that i have for my ex and he will always have a ‘piece’ of my heart. Its not going to go away, there are memories etc that shaped me to be who I am today.
    I dont think you will ever forget it. Its always going to be there. Just days it will get dull and other days it will be so bright and then one day… the light will be dim and a brighter light will come in. The trick is managing the light that gets in. 🙂 You will create many filters for yourself over the next 9 months!

    Anyway im no expert and you may just thing WTH is she going on about. My main point was that. It happened, it aint going to go away- its just dealing with the a – z of it all and the ups and downs and you will always have memories. But heres to the future, there are always better memories to create and im so stoked at how well you are going and by the support of friends. You are AMAZING!

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